From: cfbd@southern.co.nz (Colin Douthwaite)
Subject: Uncanonical List of Mae West Quotes
Date: 3 May 1996 17:44:19 GMT

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                 The Uncanonical List of Mae West Quotes
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                (((())
               ((()))))
               | ^  ^ |
              (  )`'(  )      " One figure can sometimes add up to a lot."
              (`   o  ')
             ' ... . ...`               -  Mae West (1892-1980)
           '. .. . . . . .`
         (  . . . . . ... . ____
        / (  . . .  . . .  .  __|)
       / (  .   .. . . .    ).   \
      / ( .`---'. ..  .----'..)  |
     ( /(____-------------____)  |
      | (                     )  |
      |  \                   /   |
     _|_   \   -_______-   /     (
    |/ \|    \           /        \
     ---      \    |    /          \  __/-
               \___|___/            \_(..)
                \  |  /                \/ /|
                (/\|/\)     mh        |  |



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Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

He who hesitates is last.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.          

I only like two kinds of men: foreign and domestic.

I feel like a million tonight, but one at a time.

It's not the men in your life who count.  It's the life in your men.

A man in the house is worth two in the street.              

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

So many men, so little time.                 

I've been in more laps than a napkin.

Come up and see me sometime when I've nothing but the wireless on.

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

To err is human--but it feels divine.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I haven't tried before."
in "Klondike Annie"  (1936)

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
in Diane Arbus, "Mae West: Emotion in Motion"  Show (1965)

I used to be Snow White...but I drifted.

One figure can sometimes add up to a lot.

I've been in Who's Who and I know what's what, but this is the
first time I've been in the dictionary.

I always say, keep a diary and some day it'll keep you.

When I'm good, I'm very, very, good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

I've been things and done places.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.                

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.  

When a girl goes bad--men go right after her.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better.
  
It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then. As long as you 
don't break any.  
   
It's better to be looked over than overlooked.

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the 
second meeting shows up new angles.  

I wrote this story myself, It's all about a girl who lost her 
reputation, but never missed it.  

Hatcheck girl:  "Goodness, that's a beautiful diamond!"
Mae West:  "Goodness had nothing to do with it...."
   
Marriage is a fine institution - but I'm not ready for an 
institution.  

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DISCLAIMER:

These Mae West quotes have been collected mainly from the Net and, 
except where specified, their authenticity and original sources are 
not known.  

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